I turned on the T.V. the other night, something I seldom do anymore. Unless it’s to watch something on PBS or on the History channel. There’s so much crap on T.V. that I’d rather spend my time writing, reading, or talkin’ smack about the government on Myspace.
If I watch anything else, it’s cop shows like Hill Street Blues or N.Y.P.D. Blue. I don’t know why I’m drawn to those shows. I guess it’s the nostalgia I feel while watching it, as a kid I watched these programs and wanted to be a good guy. Just like the good cops I saw on T.V. It was as I grew older that I found out real life was completely different. Most cops I encountered were assholes. There are very few who are helpful, and who don’t carry their ego around with their badge.
Anyhow, as I was flipping through the channels the other night, I came across one of my favorite shows in the past few years; “Survivor.” This has got to be one of the greatest shows of all time. Although I missed last season, as well as this season’s first episode, I was never-the-less drawn into the conflict; the lying, cheating, scheming, and manipulative back stabbing ways had me instantaneously hooked. Like a crack head on the floor, picking up lint and anything white. I could not change the channel, there I stayed enthralled and engrossed in the savagery.
The hot scantily clad women with their beautiful curves, and breasts falling out everywhere. The metrosexual men with their fine physiques and chiseled bodies. In some voyeuristic way I enjoyed watching these beautiful people interact. Much like soft porn. I wondered if they were really stranded, and if there weren’t any cameras around, would it be a free for all swinging orgy? Hell, I’d watch that too; good for the Nielsen ratings.
I had tuned in just in time. The competition part had not yet started. I’d be able to catch these gladiators in action. The challenge was for three or four members of each team to push a huge wooden, octagon shaped ball through a mud pit and into their goal; much like soccer but worse. The competition was fierce, as mud wrestling became part of the game. During the battle, they even tried to force each others’ face into the mud and drown their foes. Opponents tore at each others’ clothes, stripping away what little protection they had to cover their well endowed areas. Leaving nothing but nakedness, and a blurred image of the T.V. censors.
Here’s how the game works. We take forty people of all ethnic backgrounds, and different races. They will represent the diversity of our culture and society. Black, White, Red, Green, and Calico, are all allowed to enter. Ten of them will be flown past the border into Canada, and Ten of them will be flown past the border into Mexico. They will be stripped of all belongings except the clothes they have on. That means no money, identification, passport, jewelry, cell phone, etc. They will then parachute to their location, be it Canada or Mexico.
Then we take the other twenty and split them up. Ten will fly out into the Pacific Ocean and Ten will fly out into the Atlantic Ocean. They too will be stripped of all belongings and parachute into the ocean, bordering the West coast and the East coast. The mission of all the players is to make it to middle America in thirty days.
They would trek through the perils of San Francisco, New York City, Chicago, Montreal, New Orleans, Kalamazoo, fighting for their right to survive. Both men and women would be scheming the best way to hitch-hike. Car-jacking? Hey, not a problem, as long as they don’t get “voted off” into jail. The trials of the human psyche when given the primal task of survival would probably surprise us. Maybe they would pull together somehow, to fight tooth and nail with each other at the end.
The first player to make it to the state of Kansas and acquire the most materialistic wealth and/or money is the winner. I figure that this would be an interesting trek. Journeying through our country, encountering poverty, social disorder, identity theft, racism, culture shock, hate, depravity, desperation, self-reflection, love, depression, and loss.
The winner would win an endless supply of money for life.