Weather Term “Polar Vortex” Officially Overused
The weather term polar vortex has officially jumped the shark.
Polar Vortex Leads to Officially ‘Fucking Cold’ Temperatures
With twenty-six states in the midst of wind-chill warnings and other temperature alerts due to a polar vortex, meteorologists across the Midwest have finally come to an agreement: it's fucking…
Punxsutawney Phil Predicts More Winter: Pennsylvanians Stock Up on Sunblock
Punxsutawney, PA: Once again, our furry meteorologists have poked their heads out into the world for the sole purpose of telling us when to expect winter to be over. This…
Groundhog Predicts Early Spring: Pennsylvanians Get Naked
Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog of revelation, left his hole this morning, slipped on the ice, crashed head-first into a tree, and didn't see his shadow in the frozen tundra that…
Punxsutawney Phil Found Dead
Groundhog Day had a confusing reading by Punxsutawney Phil today as the rodent of revelation never left his hole and is presumed dead.
Researchers Connect Winter Weather to Poor Driving
At the world-famous Toronto Association for Research in Driving, a five year, government-funded study on the relationship between snow and bad motoring revealed some surprising results.