Florida Refuses to Amend “Stand Your Ground” Law to Exclude “Come At Me, Bro”
With election season on the horizon, the political powers of Florida are gearing up to debate on everyone's favorite topic: gun laws.
Janet Yellen Admits to Being a Milli Vanilli Fan
Janet Yellen has admitted to what Federal Reserve detractors and economists have been accusing the central bank of for years: being Milli Vanilli fans.
Snake Handling Pastor Bit by Rattlesnake for Being a Snake Handling Pastor
Jamie Coots, star of the reality show “Snake Salvation” on the National Geographic Channel, wins this year's Darwin Award.
World Offended by Coca-Cola’s “America the Beautiful” Super Bowl Commercial
The Super Bowl was once again a talking point for ridiculously serious political debate, even after the interview of President Obama by Bill O'Reilly, when Coca-Cola revealed it crown jewel…
President Obama Institutes First State of the Union Brawl
The Station of the Union Address took an odd turn last night, as opposing party members physically assaulted each other rather than verbally.
Weather Term “Polar Vortex” Officially Overused
The weather term polar vortex has officially jumped the shark.
Movie Theaters Consider Adding “Don’t Shoot People” to Preview Guides
Movie theater management responds to latest fatal shooting with plans to put giant graphics on the screen telling the audience not to shoot people.
Republicans Celebrate Party’s Triumph Over Science
GOP leaders gathered yesterday to celebrate a successful year for the Republican Party, capped off with an 11% decline in the belief in evolution with their colleagues.
Polar Vortex Leads to Officially ‘Fucking Cold’ Temperatures
With twenty-six states in the midst of wind-chill warnings and other temperature alerts due to a polar vortex, meteorologists across the Midwest have finally come to an agreement: it's fucking…
Local Asshole Refuses to Have a Happy New Year
Happy New Year? No thanks, already had one.