Local Asshole Refuses to Have a Happy New Year
Happy New Year? No thanks, already had one.
Nature Experts Gather to Study Running of the Shoppers
As the holidays draw near and the bargains begin to blow in, the rare in-person shopper begins its slow migration to the local discount stores.
Christmas Songs for People Who Don’t Like Christmas Songs
Tis the season to get cranky, especially when it comes to Christmas songs. Here are some Christmas songs that you will never hear on the radio.
Lawmakers Pass Landmark Toy Gun Control Law
The Nerf Nerf™ Act, requires those interested in owning a toy gun to pass an extensive background check.
Dick Cousin Refuses to Pass Gravy on Thanksgiving
Preliminary reports for Thanksgiving indicate that dick cousin Andrew McDonald refused to pass anyone the gravy boat.
Ask An Owl: New Year’s Romance
Did you survive the relationship gauntlet of the holidays? Ask an Owl goes over the pitfalls for Valentine's Day. With New Year's Eve just around the corner, I'm feeling a…