Zimmerman to Pitch Stand Your Ground Reality Show
Jacksonville, FL: Fresh out of his trial, George Zimmerman is rumored to have signed a contract with Fox News to become a commentator and host of a new reality television…
Zimmerman Leaves Courthouse, Shoots 5 People Giving Him Stink Eye
Sanford, FL: The trial of George Zimmerman for the shooting death of 17 year old Trayvon Martin came to a close late Saturday night, as a jury of six women…
Mayor Bloomberg Receives Meat, Cigarettes in Mail
New York, NY: Last week, two anonymous letters containing very angry words and trace amounts of ricin were intercepted by mail workers. The mail was on its may to local…
Gun Nuts Attempt to Ruin 3D Printers for Everyone
Austin, TX: As common knowledge of 3D printer capabilities continues to grow, a bunch of dicks from Texas decided that the best way to let people know more about them…
Congress Passes Gun Control
Washington, DC: Today, a joint commission of Republicans and Democrats called a press conference to announce they had finally come to an agreement and passed landmark gun control legislation, an…
NRA Proposes New Solution: Weaponized Schoolchildren
Washington, DC: NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre, who was brought out of his concrete bunker last week, has proposed to Congress that schoolchildren be prepared to avoid another tragedy like…
Epic Brain Vomit by Jess
Jess returns to The Owl to vent about anything that catches her eye in the news!