ICYWYMI: Powerball Proves People are Really Bad at Math
The Powerball jackpot, from the last time I checked, is at over $1.3 billion. I’m sure we can all agree that a sum like that could buy an exorbitant amount…
Apple Releases Info on Crucial Apple Watch Accessories
San Francisco, CA: Following Apple's public introduction of the company's latest techno-bauble yesterday, creatively dubbed the Apple Watch, Apple has continued to keep public interest and stock rises going by…
Tinder Lawsuit Evidence Not as Funny when Replacing “Dick” with “Penis”
A sexual harassment lawsuit made great strides yesterday in eradicating the humor of word usage when representatives of plaintiff Whitney Wolfe introduced evidence where defendant Sean Rad had sent her…
Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions
Google has halted production on their line of self-driving cars after the prototypes reportedly started becoming self-aware.
Donald Sterling Calls Racist Press Conference to Apologize for the Last Racist Apology
Donald Sterling is returning to the spotlight to apologize once again. Today Sterling called for a press conference outside of his home to address statements he made during his interview…
Soft Drink Companies to Drop Healthiest-Sounding Ingredient from their Products
In an effort to curtail any misleading beliefs that soft drinks may have an ingredient that sounds slightly good for you, the companies PepsiCo and Coca-Cola recently announced that they…
Microsoft Warns that Windows XP Systems will Self-Destruct at Midnight
The countdown to extinction began this morning due to the fact that Microsoft's support for the Windows XP operating system will end at some point today.
Janet Yellen Admits to Being a Milli Vanilli Fan
Janet Yellen has admitted to what Federal Reserve detractors and economists have been accusing the central bank of for years: being Milli Vanilli fans.
Comcast Unveils “Basic Human Dignity” Service Plan
Comcast unveils news service plans for cable, phone, and internet: the higher-cost "Basic Human Dignity" plan and the low-cost “Comcast Classic.”
Bill Gates Begins Rampage Through Microsoft Campus
Bill Gates returns to Microsoft, and he is not amused.