wil_wheaton_says

New York, NY— A sexual harassment lawsuit made great strides yesterday in eradicating the humor of word usage when representatives of plaintiff Whitney Wolfe introduced evidence where defendant Sean Rad had sent her a text subtly referring to his boss Barry Diller as a “penis.”

The lawsuit claims that Wolfe, former vice president of marketing tor the dating application Tinder, was the target of continuous harassment by co-founder Justin Mateen after the couple ended an in-office romantic relationship while CEO Sean Rad did nothing.

In order to outline a continuous theme of sexism and degradation in the company, a text message sent from Rad to Wolfe was submitted as evidence. The text was a picture of “Barry Diller” written on a piece of paper, with the letters “AKA” under it and the letters “BD” under that. Representatives of the plaintiff explain that, in this text message, Sean Rad is calling his boss a “penis,” much to the chagrin of comedy fans worldwide.

“Penis? Really? Have these people never heard the name Wil Wheaton?” exclaimed long-time geek and fan of wordplay humor Chase Allen. “The word is ‘dick,’ you douches.”

Indeed, the replacement of the word “dick” with “penis” may seem trivial to some, but to fans of Wil Wheaton and comedy everywhere, it is a word replacement that has no place in the world today.

“When it comes to insult humor, you want to get your point across with the least amount of words, or even syllables, as possible,” explained Allen. “You want a word to resonate on it’s own, if possible. That’s what ‘dick’ has always done. ‘Penis’ adds a extra useless syllable in an unfunny usage.”

While the majority of comedy fans feel the same as Allen, and possibly Wil Wheaton, others believe that ‘penis’ can also have its place in humorous wordplay.

“Maybe not in this case, but using ‘penis’ can be just as funny as using ‘dick,’ as long as it has an ironic connotation,” explained Dr. Phil McMartin, professor of comedy. “Just think of the hilarious jokes that have come to us by mixing talking dirty during sex with uptight stereotypes like Ann Coulter and PAul Ryan. ‘Penis’ will always have a place in comedy.”

In other news, the idea that the two executives who helped launch a dating application could not actually find dates using their own application and were forced to enter into an office relationship is considered a stunning blow to Tinder’s reputation.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.