Super Bowl XLVII Blackout Blamed on Terrorists, Beyoncé’s Dress
New Orleans, LA: On Sunday, a nation of viewers tuned in to witness two things unable to hold a charge, one expected and one unexpected. The expected power outage was…
Opponents to Women in Military Insist They’re Not Misogynists
All across the country, people have been reacting to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta’s announcement last week that officially rescinded the rule banning women from serving in combat positions. This decision…
Coach Obama’s Locker Room Inauguration Speech
Washington, DC: A crowd of not-so-many supporters gathered on the not-as-cold mall to watch the not-as-exciting Obama become the 44th President, take two, of the United States. It was a…
Oregon Bill Introduces New Era of Taxes on Not Doing Stuff
Salem, OR: In the upcoming legislative session, Oregon lawmakers are set to consider imposing a tax on fuel-efficient vehicles for revenue lost from drivers not purchasing gasoline. The law would…
NRA Proposes New Solution: Weaponized Schoolchildren
Washington, DC: NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre, who was brought out of his concrete bunker last week, has proposed to Congress that schoolchildren be prepared to avoid another tragedy like…
Congress Debates Cliff-ness of Fiscal Cliff
Washington, DC: In a display of focus and efficiency that has been characteristic of the US Congress, our elected officials have buckled down for a vigorous debate on what the…
Presidential Voting Results Marred By Insanity
Mitt Romney called a news conference to say: “To quote that great American, Yogi Berra, ‘It ain’t over until it’s deja vu all over again and the fat Democrat lady…
CORRECTION: Obama Defeats Romney
Chicago, IL: We here at the Inept Owl would like to apologize for our previous article, which may have insinuated somehow that Romney had won the 2012 election. We’re just…
Mitt Romney Wins 2012 Election
Washington, DC: As of today, the election committee has called the 2012 race for Mitt Romney. After almost two years of dramatic, news-catching struggle, America finally has a new president.…
Hurricane Sandy Announces Support for Obama
New York, NY: Today, Hurricane Sandy answered the question on everyone’s mind by endorsing Obama for president. Some may argue that the question on everyone’s mind was more likely “When…