16-Year-Old Boy Loses Virginity During TSA Pat-Down
Newark, NJ: The Transportation Safety Administration and its controversial screening procedures have come under fire yet again. A 16-year-old boy, whose name is being withheld due to his age, has…
Bloomberg Considers Pedestrian Tolls for New York City
Mayor Bloomberg is pushing for a "walking toll." A walking toll is a fee collected from pedestrians walking around Manhattan by police officers.
Central Oklahoma Struck by Earthquake: Residents Thrilled
Norman, OK: The U.S. Geological Survey has reported that a 4.3 magnitude earthquake jolted Central Oklahoma this morning and the natives are restless - with joy. It has been reported…
Nationwide Poll: Ohio Deemed Worst State
Washington, DC: After polling more than 127 million people, the newly formed National Polling Agency has determined that the state of Ohio is, by far, the worst of the 50…
Team “We Luv Boobies” Joins Walk for Breast Cancer
The male staffers at The Inept Owl vow to save all the boobies. The participants are primarily made up of women, due to the fact that they have real breasts…
Perchance to Dream(Cheese at Last!) J-Sin Celebrates Big 4-9
New York, NY: After 49 articles it’s time for a party. J-Sin and the rest of the immortals at the Inept Owl are set to paint the town red in…
Study Finds Athletes More Popular than Gawky Nerds
Princeton, NJ: In a study released by Princeton University, researchers claim what has long been suspected: in high schools around the country, male athletes, with their muscular torsos, lantern jaws,…
Men’s Rights Lawyer Gets Panties In A Twist
New York, NY: While most young men may piss and moan about this unfairness for about two seconds before being distracted by a set of young knockers in a glittery…
NY Cat Burglar Arrested for Failure to Remain Sexy
New York, NY: The infamous New York "cat-burglar", who had only gained attention today after being caught, was brought into police custody today by officers in downtown Manhattan. "The real…
Ground Zero Donut Shop Enters Debate
New York, NY: With the public release of plans to turn the decrepit building of the Burlington Coat Factory into an Islamic Cultural Center/Mosque, American tensions have run high. The…