Andy Dick to Star in Andy Dick Biopic as Andy Dick
Los Angeles, CA: After three years of negotiation with Dreamworks, Hollywood Legend Andy Dick has finally agreed to star in an upcoming film about his life. According to sources, Steven…
Opponents to Women in Military Insist They’re Not Misogynists
All across the country, people have been reacting to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta’s announcement last week that officially rescinded the rule banning women from serving in combat positions. This decision…
Mayor Bloomberg to Add Benches, Ski-Lifts, to NYC Snowdrifts
Mayor Bloomberg prepares to make Manhattan skier-accessible after storm.
NRA Proposes New Solution: Weaponized Schoolchildren
Washington, DC: NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre, who was brought out of his concrete bunker last week, has proposed to Congress that schoolchildren be prepared to avoid another tragedy like…
Hurricane Sandy Announces Support for Obama
New York, NY: Today, Hurricane Sandy answered the question on everyone’s mind by endorsing Obama for president. Some may argue that the question on everyone’s mind was more likely “When…
The Rescue of Honey Boo Boo
McIntyre, GA: Ex-Navy Seal/current “No Easy Day” author Matt Bissonette, who was part of the elite team that literally bagged Osama Bin Laden, told “60 Minutes” of a recent secret…
Fox News Announces New Tragedy-Seeking Technology
New York, NY: Fox News CEO and hot air balloon impersonator Roger Ailes recently announced the initiation of a new algorithm for finding the most tragic events around the US.…
While We Were Bored: Mars Landing
A lot can be said about NASA’s latest Mars landing: 1) Curiosity is having an exciting ride, at least, as much excitement as a robotic vehicle that missed the cut…
New Cancer Treatment Promises Millions in Research Funding
Baltimore, MD: Last week, cancer researchers at Kennedy Krieger Institute announced the results of a trial for a new course of treatment that may benefit a number of types of…
The Second Coming of an Alien?
Roswell, NM: Former CIA agent Chase Brandon told a reporter a shocking announcement on the 65th anniversary of the “Roswell Daily Record’s” infamous flying saucer headline. And what oh-so-shocking announcement…