BP Study Confirms Benefits of Oil Spills
British Petroleum spokesman Gerald McSlick announced the results of a two-year study that proves oil spills may actually be good for the environment.
Microsoft Warns that Windows XP Systems will Self-Destruct at Midnight
The countdown to extinction began this morning due to the fact that Microsoft's support for the Windows XP operating system will end at some point today.
Janet Yellen Admits to Being a Milli Vanilli Fan
Janet Yellen has admitted to what Federal Reserve detractors and economists have been accusing the central bank of for years: being Milli Vanilli fans.
Comcast Unveils “Basic Human Dignity” Service Plan
Comcast unveils news service plans for cable, phone, and internet: the higher-cost "Basic Human Dignity" plan and the low-cost “Comcast Classic.”
Bill Gates Begins Rampage Through Microsoft Campus
Bill Gates returns to Microsoft, and he is not amused.
World Offended by Coca-Cola’s “America the Beautiful” Super Bowl Commercial
The Super Bowl was once again a talking point for ridiculously serious political debate, even after the interview of President Obama by Bill O'Reilly, when Coca-Cola revealed it crown jewel…
Advancement in Prosthetic Limbs Met with Resistance, Requests for “Cool Robot Hands”
Artificial limb fashion takes a turn for the vintage as users of prosthetics want to look more robotic.
Movie Theaters Consider Adding “Don’t Shoot People” to Preview Guides
Movie theater management responds to latest fatal shooting with plans to put giant graphics on the screen telling the audience not to shoot people.
Retail Store Takes 12 Hours to Complete Bitcoin Transaction
Retail stores plan to accept Bitcoin, no matter how long it may take.
T-Mobile Fails to Help Local Idiot Break Up with Girlfriend
Earlier his week, mobile communications company T-Mobile found a social media foothold that promises to take viral marketing by storm. Maybe too well.