New Yorkers Critical of Santana’s Imperfect No-Hitter
Flushing, NY: The critical eye of New York cast its gaze upon the Mets once again, as ace pitcher Johan Santana pitched a complete no-hitter against the St. Louis Cardinals…
World War Z Begins with Miami Zombie Attack
Miami, FL: What has been pop culture myth and a horror film focus has quickly become reality, as zombie-like attacks have begun surfacing in Miami, Florida. The latest involved a…
Scientists Discover Sex may be Good for your Health
Las Vegas, NV: A recent report published by the National Institute of Health (NIH) has provided evidence that regular intercourse may be good for you. This report came after an…
Baseball Team Forfeits Championship Because of a Girl
Phoenix, AZ: The Our Lady of Tears baseball team forfeited a championship game against Arizona Sun Preparatory School this past weekend because the second base man for Arizona Sun is,…
University of Phoenix Announces New Field of Study: Student Debt
Phoenix, AZ: Last month, the University of Phoenix unveiled a new department for registration. The department is called “Student Debt Studies” and boasts a catalog of ten courses covering the…
Local Idiot Misunderstands Garage Sale
Springfield, OH: A normal garage sale on a normal neighborhood block turned into mayhem this past weekend, as local Springfield resident Nicholas Glunt learned what a garage sale really is,…
Neil Patrick Harris Admits to Barney Character Acting
New York, NY: With the end of How I Met Your Mother on the horizon, Neil Patrick Harris recently came to terms with a screen rumor about his character in…
Eli Manning to Host SNL as a Tree
New York, NY: With this weekend’s announcement that New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning will be hosting NBC’s Saturday Night Live on May 5th, fans, both of the show and…
Google Glasses Ignore Warnings from Futurama
For the first time since its launch as a search engine, the internet monolith Google has done the seemingly impossible: beat Apple to a technological advancement by ripping off a…
St. Joseph, Baby Jesus’ Adoptive Father, Tired of Being Ignored
Galilee, ISRAEL: St. Joseph, husband of Mary and adoptive father of Jesus H. Christ, wants to make it known that he is “sick and tired of being ignored.” According to…