Dr. FitzGerald Revived with Rube Goldberg Defibrillator
Dr. Jerri Nielsen FitzGerald, 57, whose struggle against breast cancer during a winter at the South Pole captivated the world, died, only to be revived moments later in what is…
American Apparel Settles Down Woody Allen
New York, NY: After a year of legal wrangling, Woody Allen and American Apparel have reached an agreement in the lawsuit filed by Allen last year, accusing American Apparel of…
World Confused What to Wish Pregnant Man
Bend, OR: The normally simple holiday of Mother's Day was turned on its head for well-wishers of a certain family. Visitors to the home of Thomas Beatie(aka that "pregnant man"…
Country Shocked at Miss USA Pageant
Las Vegas, NV: Television viewers of NBC and the audience at the Planet Hollywood Resort were shocked and appalled at the Miss USA Pageant on Sunday. The reason: Perez Hilton.…
iPOS 3.0 to be Released
Cupertino, CA: After months of mockery and resentment, but steady sales, Apple has raised the bar of excellence with the sophisticated features present in its iPhone 3.0 Operating System, due…
Historian Discovers Roots of St. Patrick’s Day
Dr. Haggis O'Connell, renowned professor of European Studies at Harvard University, has discovered ancient texts revealing a surprising secret: the celebration of St. Patrick's Day once related to a hero…
When Chimps Revolt
Stamford, CT: This past week marked a turning point in human interaction with their simian friends, as a 200 pound chimpanzee named Travis did his best Britany Spears impression by…
Peter Gabriel Takes Song, Goes Home
Los Angeles, CA: Citing disrespect, the stifling of artistry rights, and public humiliation, Peter Gabriel, the former frontman of the British pop band Genesis, now destined to write screen jingles…
Springsteen’s Slide Just an Act
Tampa Bay, FL: During a press conference, after his performance at Super Bowl XLIII's Half-Time Show and before he was carted away in an ambulance, Bruce Springsteen answered questions by…
Iceland: “We Really Are a Country!”
Reykjavik, ICELAND: Iceland's president, Olafur Ragnar Grimsson, held a press conference this morning with international journalists to state for the record that Iceland is indeed a country.