Michael Vick Injures Ribs Signing with the New York Jets
Michael Vick was promptly placed on IR due to a rib injury that occurred when signing with the New York Jets.
Walter Cronkite’s Ghost Delivers State of the News Address
Early this morning, the ghost of Walter Cronkite emerged from a news anchor desk in New York during a live broadcast to address the state of journalism.
Son of Blofeld Takes Credit for Missing Malaysia Plane
Missing plane from Malaysia sounds like a James Bond movie plot.
Dallas Cowboys Sign Sam Smith from Craigslist Due to Cap Issues
The Dallas Cowboys go to Craigslist to fill in their salary cap-handicapped roster.
President Obama Begins Showbiz Plan with “Between Two Ferns”
With the President's recent witty retorts with Galifianakis, the possibilities for the President in Hollywood seem limitless.
Kim Jong-un Receives 100% of Votes to North Korean Assembly. 30% of North Korean Population Missing
In a landslide victory for the current Dear Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un was elected to the Supreme People's Assembly, the highest legislative body of North Korea besides Kim…
Florida Refuses to Amend “Stand Your Ground” Law to Exclude “Come At Me, Bro”
With election season on the horizon, the political powers of Florida are gearing up to debate on everyone's favorite topic: gun laws.
Travolta Apologizes for Mispronouncing Adela Dazeem’s Name at Oscars
After almost a week of mockery on the internet and in the media, John Travolta finally spoke of his mispronunciation of Frozen singer Idina Menzel's name.
Janet Yellen Admits to Being a Milli Vanilli Fan
Janet Yellen has admitted to what Federal Reserve detractors and economists have been accusing the central bank of for years: being Milli Vanilli fans.
Congress Insecure about Military Shrinkage, States “It’s A Decent Size”
The plan to replace the size of the military with skill in how it is used has proponents of a large military insecure about the US's place in the world.