iPOS 3.0 to be Released
Cupertino, CA: After months of mockery and resentment, but steady sales, Apple has raised the bar of excellence with the sophisticated features present in its iPhone 3.0 Operating System, due…
GPS Misdirects Man for 5 Days
Another life was saved from faulty electronics yesterday, as local authorities found a man in his car on the mountain roads of Montana, severely dehydrated and, more importantly, out of…
When Chimps Revolt
Stamford, CT: This past week marked a turning point in human interaction with their simian friends, as a 200 pound chimpanzee named Travis did his best Britany Spears impression by…
Local Idiot to Rip Off Tucker Max
In an effort to either find a buyer for his unrequitted love, or just to boost ratings for his website, inept editor Patrick Emmel released plans to create an online…
Fat Necks Linked to Fat People
In the results of a study released late last week, scientists have confirmed a shocking discovery: people with fat necks are considered biologically fat. Before now, there were other visual…
Peter Gabriel Takes Song, Goes Home
Los Angeles, CA: Citing disrespect, the stifling of artistry rights, and public humiliation, Peter Gabriel, the former frontman of the British pop band Genesis, now destined to write screen jingles…
Homes for Wayward Homes
President Barack Obama has turned his attention to another action on his "Taking Care of Business" policy list by further examining the mortgage crisis, which has played an alarming part…
Springsteen’s Slide Just an Act
Tampa Bay, FL: During a press conference, after his performance at Super Bowl XLIII's Half-Time Show and before he was carted away in an ambulance, Bruce Springsteen answered questions by…
Iceland: “We Really Are a Country!”
Reykjavik, ICELAND: Iceland's president, Olafur Ragnar Grimsson, held a press conference this morning with international journalists to state for the record that Iceland is indeed a country.
U.N. Deploys Sutherland to Gaza
The situation in Gaza Strip has alarmed the globe. Hamas radicals have fired Katyusha rockets into the nation of Israel after the Israeli demolition of trade tunnels used to transport…