Clinton Reminisces On a Times Square with Normal Prostitutes
New York, NY: Drugs; prostitution; public urination. These are just a few of the activities that made the Times Square of the past so interesting. Sometimes all three activities could…
Tech Geek Beats SiriusXM with Free Services, $50,000 Car System
Huntington, NY: In the world of the internet, he or she who has the most free toys, wins. One savvy techno-whiz, Paul Shenker, took this idea to the outer limits…
Dick Clark Defeats Elizabeth Taylor in Death Pools, Tontine
Bel Aire, CA: After years of waiting while younger, more surprising celebrities passed on, the final chapter of death pools worldwide was closed yesterday. Dick Clark has defeated Elizabeth Taylor.
Supermoon Terrorizes East Coast
New York, NY: This past weekend tragedy struck, as that orbiting chunk of rock, the moon, came a whole 2 inches closer to the Earth than usual. The proximity caused…
Woman Arrested on St. Patrick’s Day for Being Sober
Unfortunately, someone always has to take things too far, and spoil the fun for everyone. This year, 23 year old Manhattan resident Stacey Fueller was the culprit. At about 1:45pm,…
UFC Owner Dana White Buys Strikeforce: Next, The World
Las Vegas, NV: In an effort to lock up more of the elite fighters in the sport of mixed martial arts(MMA), Dana White and company haved officially purchased Showtime's Strikeforce,…
Gwyneth Paltrow Claims Crown of Musical Tag-A-Long Spouse
While many believed Paltrow may end up in an all-nude hippie march on the White House after marrying Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and naming their first child Apple Blythe Alison…
Charlie Sheen Bowling Shirts Actually On Sale
Los Angeles, CA: For anyone who has ever seen the show "Two-and-a-Half Men", one of the most visually enduring aspects of Charlie Sheen's character is, besides the booze, probably drugs,…
Sad Hipster to Give Death Cab for Cutie One More Shot
New York, NY: For years, Kyle Travers has been a self-proclaimed indie music afficionado. When he first heard Sonic Youth's "Bull In the Heather" at 14 years old. He was…
2011 Oscars Swept by Machete
Hollywood, CA: The 83rd Annual Academy Awards ceremony held few surprises this weekend, as the greatest movie known to humanity, Machete, all but swept the awards. With a cast ranging…