Good Samaritan On Way Home to Finish Conspiracy Manifesto
Proof that conspiracy theorists are just like you and I.
Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions
Google has halted production on their line of self-driving cars after the prototypes reportedly started becoming self-aware.
Chipotle Asks Customers Not to Bring Their Ancient, Mystical Weapons Into Restaurants
Chipotle Mexican Grill has formally requested that customers leave behind their ancient weapons of unspecified mystical power when eating at their restaurants.
Donald Sterling Calls Racist Press Conference to Apologize for the Last Racist Apology
Donald Sterling is returning to the spotlight to apologize once again. Today Sterling called for a press conference outside of his home to address statements he made during his interview…
Denver Broncos to Release Champ Bailey Into the Wild
Broncos veteran cornerback Champ Bailey is set to be released from the team and then, literally, into the wild.
Snake Handling Pastor Bit by Rattlesnake for Being a Snake Handling Pastor
Jamie Coots, star of the reality show “Snake Salvation” on the National Geographic Channel, wins this year's Darwin Award.
Congress Votes to Ban “That Hook Thing That Scrapes Your Teeth at the Dentist”
Following President Barack Obama’s plea for Congress to finally work together to resolve disputes over issues such as healthcare reform and renewable energy sources, Congress has voted to ban dental…
Advancement in Prosthetic Limbs Met with Resistance, Requests for “Cool Robot Hands”
Artificial limb fashion takes a turn for the vintage as users of prosthetics want to look more robotic.
Basketball Fans Shocked that Dennis Rodman’s Odd Behavior in North Korea Took This Long
During his adventures in North Korea, Dennis Rodman alienates basketball fans...again.
Shock Therapy Could Erase Painful Memories Like Seeing “The Iron Giant”
Shock therapy could lead to the deletion of selective memory. Yes, just like in that movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.