Baseball Team Forfeits Championship Because of a Girl
Phoenix, AZ: The Our Lady of Tears baseball team forfeited a championship game against Arizona Sun Preparatory School this past weekend because the second base man for Arizona Sun is,…
Sunphobia on the Rise; Vampire Slayers on Alert
United States: First, it was the Tanorexics—women in their teens, 20s and 30s with such a fondness for tan skin that they risk their lives just to resemble old, leathery…
Catholic School Bans Rainbows; Fantasy Creatures in an Uproar
Toronto, ON CANADA: Leprechauns, unicorns, fairies, and woodland nymphs are in an uproar over a Catholic school’s recent decision to ban rainbows from its premises. The problem started when the…
Gay Marriage is the Gateway Marriage
Bob Bordus of the Straight Marriage for Maryland group has finally added a new argument in the anti-gay marriage arsenal. “Gay marriage is the gateway marriage. Just like marijuana is…
Tanorexia Found to be Hereditary
A new study published in the Archives of Dermatology has found the deadly disease tanorexia to be hereditary.
Holy Hepatitis! Parishioners Get More than Communion during Christmas Mass
Massapequa Park, NY: Christmas Day is one of the busiest for Catholic Churches around the world. It is the one day a year when many Catholics suddenly remember that they’re…
Apocalypse Coming Sooner Than Expected
Raleigh, NC—If you resolved to lose fifty pounds this year or to limit your habit to one pack a day, you might want to hurry up. Or just give up…
Salvation Army Says Yes to Guns, No to Sparkling Vampires
Few people are probably aware that the Salvation Army has strict guidelines when it comes to what types of toys it will give to needy children. For instance, as the…
ABC Execs are Seeing Stars
Hollywood, CA: And yet another season of Dancing With the Stars has come to a glittery close, crowning Jennifer Grey as the ballroom champ. Not surprisingly, the former dirty dancer…
Frito-Lay Prefers Silence to Saving the Planet
Plano, Texas: The snack company Frito-Lay amazed and impressed people in the spring of 2009 when it switched the packaging of its famous SunChips from a type of plastic bag…