Snyder Blames Michigan for Trusting Government
Flint, MI – Michigan Governor and Snidely Whiplash impersonator Rick Snyder held a press conference Monday to place the blame for the Flint water crisis on those who held ultimate…
Bernie Sanders Combs Hair, Examines Political Options
New York, NY – This week, Vermont Senator and Seinfield co-creator Bernie Sanders made his own Palin-esque vote grab by announcing that he would be speak before an audience of…
GOP Noms Argue Who Loves Guns, Hates Obama the Most
North Charleston, SC – Republicans converged on North Charleston last night to provide news agencies with material for another week of Tweets about Donald Trump. The debate was preceded by…
Ranchers in Oregon Express Constitutional Right to Armed Takeover of Federal Property
Burns, Oregon – On Saturday, a group of concerned citizens expressed their discontent with the Federal government by forcibly occupying a National Wildlife Refuge and threatening to shoot anyone who…
Obama Kicks Off Terror Busters Campaign
If there’s something strange in the global hood, who you gonna call?” President Obama flipped the table and shouted, “Terror Busters!”
President Obama Asks Americans for Just the Airstrikes
In an attempt to coerce Americans into war, President Obama has promised "just the airstrikes" and that "it won't hurt for long."
Ferguson Police Chief Defends Rights of Police Against Unarmed Civilians
St. Louis County Police Chief Jon Belmar stood before reporters to announce his solidarity with the cause of police officers to defend themselves against the ever-increasing threat of unarmed black…
Israel Brings Birthright Trip to Smoldering Summer Ruin
A group of Birthright tour-goers ended their ten-day excursion to Israel yesterday, soaking up the sun and snapping photos of the ruins of Beit Hanoun.
US Wags Finger Forcefully at Palestine
Throughout the past few weeks, Palestine has launched tens of rockets across the border, destroying almost an acre of corn, killing two lambs and starting a small fire in a…
Eric Cantor Defeated in Primary by Small Guppy Named Pedro
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was handed an historic defeat in the Republican primary yesterday by a local house pet.