Los Angeles, CA: For anyone who has ever seen the show “Two-and-a-Half Men”, one of the most visually enduring aspects of Charlie Sheen’s character is, besides the booze, probable drugs, promiscuous sex, love-hate releationship with his family, and everything else that made this show more a Charlie Sheen documentary than sitcom, was his bowling shirts.
That piece of fabric and its multiple colors, designs, and dirtiness from the late 1990s was a testament to how suave the Charlie Harper character truly was. The idea that anyone could pick up women these days wearing such a shirt seemed to be the only fictional situation in the whole show. Even Charlie Sheen.
However, recent events in the Carlos Estavez circus has brought the truth to light: even the bowling shirts were true to life for Charlie Sheen. Apparently, he did not wear them for the joke factor, but actually reveled in the clothing, so much so that he became a spokesperson for the clothing line, and even helped designed some of the shirts, thus proving once again that actors should stay as far away as possible from anything except acting.
“It was extremely disappointing to hear that no one knew the shirts were actually for sale,” a spokesman for DaVinci Shirts stated. “We figured someone would have asked, ‘Gee, where does Charlie get those bad-ass bowling shirts?’ But we got nothing. I think we sold a whole twenty shirts. All to Charlie Sheen.”
Recently, Mr. Sheen was reported to have trashed the “silly” bowling shirts, leading many to believe DaVinci would pull the plug on its line. This is not the case.
“Pull the plug? Having Charlie bash the shirts has been the most public exposure we’ve ever had!” explained the spokesman. “The Charlie tidal wave is going full steam, and we’re going to coast along for the ride. Can you imagine the sales we’ll get from Halloween alone?”
Imagining is difficult, as costume designers have already begun manufacturing papal-robed ninja costumes, warlock robes, F-18 outfits, and a David Bowie costume proclaiming to be a “total bitchin rock-star from Mars.” Fake blood will obviously be renamed Tiger Blood.