Welcome back to another entry of In Case You Wish You Missed It, the news you wish wouldn’t happen but, somehow, does.

It seems that President Obama’s DAPA executive action will finally be reviewed by the Supreme Court. No, I don’t mean his penchant for sharp suits that make me look like a hobo. DAPA is more wordily known as Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Residents, a program that would allow certain illegal immigrants a stay of execution when it comes to deportation, as well as allowing them many of the privileges of citizens: most importantly, the privilege to be taxed into the nether like the rest of us.


To enroll in DAPA, a person must apply, which means that, whether or not they are deemed eligible, millions of illegal immigrants will have the opportunity to be documented. The statutes of being accepted in DAPA is also considerable. You must:

  1. Have lived in the US without interruption since 2010.
  2. Have been physically present in the US when DAPA was announced.
  3. Be physically present in the US when applying.
  4. Have had a child who is a US citizen or lawful permanent resident when the program was announced.
  5. Not have been convicted of a felony, significant misdemeanor or three or more other misdemeanors, and not “otherwise pose a threat to national security or be an enforcement priority for removal.”

So let’s recap: illegal immigrants being documented in order to decide who can stay and be taxed at the moment. Everyone wins. Immigrants get to stay and Americans can stop saying that immigrants are leeching off the system any more than anyone else.

Unfortunately, that was not good enough for twenty-five states including Texas, who filed a lawsuit against the federal government on the matter, pointing at the idea of executive action itself instead of just flat-out saying that they are still xenophobes.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.