Fairbanks, AK: One day after the U.S. government shut down operations, the proprietors and caretakers of Kobuk Valley National Park, one of the least visited national parks in the United States, appear to be completely unaware of anything different.
“Yep, just another day up here in Kobuk,” declared caretaker Andrew Benson. “It’s a shame, really. I’d love to teach some folks how to run a dogsled. I don’t know why I don’t see more of that. You get to say ‘mush’! Haven’t you always wanted to shout ‘mush’?”
Kobuk Valley National Park spans across approximately 81,000 acres of land and is home to the largest active Arctic dune fields in North America. “I really don’t get it,” added Jordan Lowell, another Kobuk Valley caretaker. “These dunes are incredible, just a miracle of nature! I really wish more people would learn about these dunes. I swear, if they just knew, we’d be flooded with visitors. I should do some marketing today; maybe send some interns to go put up fliers or something.”
Although Lowell acknowledged that the park contains no designated trails or roads and that no roads actually lead up to the park’s designated land, she asserted that it was “part of the adventure.” Benson added that you could also reach the park by dogsled, giving an additional opportunity to shout “mush” to a bunch of huskies.
“I mean, huskies are pretty cool, so they do have that going for ‘em,” said local Fairbanks resident Jonathan Rogers. “But I do know a guy who moved to Chicago, and he brought his husky. He could probably say ‘mush’ to it there if he really wanted.”
“Well, no interns today,” said Lowell, after poking around the park’s 10’ x 15’ office building. “Can’t say I’m too surprised, they kind of show up when they feel like it, anyway.” For the remainder of their workday, Benson played catch with the park’s huskies and Lowell played “Candy Crush.”
“Well, more of the same tomorrow,” Benson declared on his way out.