Canada Nixes Penny; US to Reintroduce Half Cent
Toronto, Canadialand—Today, the Canadian government announced a decision to no longer use the Canadian penny. Due to inflation, a lack of coin purses, and the fact that Coinstar charges more…
Slighted Man Adds Ex’s Hoo-Ha to Foursquare
New York, NY: Spring is a time of rejuvenation, a time when “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love”, as Alfred Lord Tennyson put it. Unfortunately, the…
Giant Cartoon Mau5head Slams Madonna for Drug References
Miami, FL: The conclusion of the Ultra Music Festival in Miami was business as usual when a man wearing a giant, bright pink cartoon mouse helmet accused the now literal…
Tiger Woods Wins to Get Back Pride, Pimping Lifestyle
Orlando, FL: A Tiger Woods span of 923 days and 27 tournaments. No, this is not how long he’s held the #1 spot in the PGA. He lost that spot…
Coroner Reports Whitney Houston Did Not OD on Soap Scum
Los Angeles, CA: After almost a month and a half of examination, blood testing, and the repetition of “I Will Always Love You” written by Dolly Parton, the LA Coroners…
Pettitte Re-Signs, Resigns, then Re-Signs Again with Yankees
Tampa, FL: The roster confusion within the New York Yankees continues, as perennial Yankee Andy Pettitte once again signed with the team, this time to a minor league deal with…
Houses of The Owl Photoshop Contest: Game of Thrones
The time has come! Some of our readers have presented Game of Thrones memes in the hopes of winning Season 1 on Blu-Ray or DVD at best, and the pocket…
Chiefs Sign the Wrong Peyton
Kansas City, MO—Today a spokesperson for the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs proudly revealed that they had made a major free-agent acquisition, only to realize they had signed the wrong player.…
Manning to Try Out Teams for 2012 Season
Tempe, AZ: The release of 4-time NFL MVP quarterback and perennial forehead Peyton Manning by the Indianapolis Colts has sent shock-waves through the rest of the NFL as teams struggle…
My Visit to Westeros: A Game of Thrones Mis-Adventure
It is obvious that I'm a fan of Game of Thrones. I have written character descriptions, comparing many of them to beer, and then more beer. I have practiced ways…