Last year, we ended Halloween with a woulda/shoulda article on Halloween costumes we didn’t see instead of going out and dressing ourselves up in those costumes. This is what happens when reality goes “meme”: inside jokes that you never really thought about go viral, and then everyone is walking around with a miner’s helmet.
This year, we’re being pro-active in our approach to Halloween by telling you all what the top costumes of the season will be (for the apathetic and sarcastic). At least, these are the costumes we hope to see.
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1) 6 Degrees of Muammar Gaddafi
Everyone’s favorite replacement to Saddam Hussein as supreme psycho dictator may have been deposed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be him for Halloween!
For the more affluent costumers, dressing up in his gay-friendly military outfit and designer sunglasses may seem useful for only one day. Not so. Designer sunglasses, no matter how useless, will always be in style. As far as the uniform, you can easily wait another 6 years and be ready for the 50th anniversary of the release of “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” by The Beatles.
For the tighter budget, all you need is a pair of sunglasses, and you can be Gaddafi in exile. Even some celebrities are getting ready to rock that look this Halloween.
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2) Republican Candidate for President
Everyone has fantasized about being the president of the United States at one time or another. This Halloween, you could be the next Republican candidate by merely putting on a suit jacket, donning an American flag pin, and walking around saying whatever is on your mind. You’ll feel powerful, get free drinks, and maybe get the chance to meet Bill O’Reilly. Just be careful: you may find yourself as an actual candidate whether you want to be or not.
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3) Bryce Lynch 2011
No Halloween is complete without a costume that has an ultra-vague 80’s reference. With the passing of Steve Jobs, you can be the latest Bryce Lynch by carrying around an iPhone with a picture of Steve Jobs. For those of you not in the know, Bryce was the child prodigy that created Max Headroom when he downloaded a copy of reporter Edison Carter’s brain into a computer.
[youtube]http://youtu.be/cYdpOjletnc[/youtube]
See? How vague is that?
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4) The Other 1%
There has to be an asshole at every Halloween party: sometimes it’s a zombie Michael Jackson; other times it’s Billy Mays wiping baby powder from his face with a Zorbeez pad. This year, you can be proud to be what Occupy Wall Street is demonstrating against. Show those hipster hippies who’s winning the paper chase with a “1%” T-shirt. You can make your own online, or with a plain white t-shirt and a black magic marker. Guaranteed to get at least one drink poured over your head.