Quaqortoq, GREENLAND: The path of hurricane Irene has been set to ride the mid to north-eastern coast of the United States, causing residents to panic in their own ways.
Some people, such as from North Carolina, have taken to running for cover, boarding up their houses, and moving west. Others, such as residents from the Jersey Shore, have sought to eke out a few last minutes tanning and gambling until Governor Chris Christie personally began dragging people away from the coast.
Then there are residents like those in New York City, who have braced themselves for the natural disaster by stocking up on necessities such as alcohol, cigarettes, and beauty supplies, planning hurricane parties at bars, clubs, and homes.
However, the citizens of one particular region have felt neglected ever since learning how close they would be to the path of devastation: southwest Greenland. In the closing hours before Hurricane Irene would move out to sea, the eye of the storm would be passing close to 300 miles away from Cape Farewell, the southern-most tip of Greenland ,leading to possible rain showers and winds up to 15 miles an hour.
“It’s a scary predicament. This may one of the worst rain showers created by a hurricane that we’ve ever encountered,” stated professor Igor Dreiksen. “And no one even cares.”
Inhabitants of the southern tip of the country have already begun disaster preparations by boarding up windows, closing businesses, airports, and docks, and storing food and water even though the rain probably won’t hit until Wednesday.
Still, neighboring countries are unsure how to react to concern from Greenland, or whether to attempt to send disaster relief to them.
“Really? Greenland is a country? I always thought it was either part of Canada or some floating iceberg, like Antarctica,” stated local New Yorker Brian Pritchard.
Others believe that Greenland is in no danger, as its own weather patterns and history usually protect the country from hurricanes, or even rain showers. “It’s been a highly plausible hypothesis that the Norse god of wind, Njord, cycles atmospheric pressure in order to keep alien weather patterns from the south from hitting Greenland,” stated self-proclaimed professor of Norse mythology and comic book geek Daniel Rosenbloom. It’s detailed perfectly in Thor #29.”