ARIES
Creation is a powerful experience, and one that will be especially rewarding today when you are finally able to cook something edible that does not have the directions, “just add water”.
TAURUS
Try to find your own way of making an impression on folks. Being unique is key, and skin branding is still not really mainstream yet, so have at it.
GEMINI
No one would accuse you of being a wallflower, and today you tend to wade right into arguments for the sake of arguing. Calm down, or you may find yourself defending less than amiable ideas like beastiality and Westboroism.
CANCER
When you see a chance to get away from the drama or pressures of your life, take it. Or delve into it and write an unbelievably over the top screenplay that would make Aston Kutcher blush.
LEO
Add another notch to your belt — you’ve racked up another big win! Either that or herpes, but who’s keeping track.
VIRGO
Get ready for a heated (and possibly flirtatious) chat with an intellectual equal. Or if you’re really horny and your opposition is a dunce, just keep yelling “Invalid!” until both your clothes come off.
LIBRA
Fix an inequity you’re feeling in a relationship by asking for what you need. Unless what you need is the obliteration of the human race. Then the inequity may have a bit of a shelf life.
SCORPIO
Say ‘yes’ to as many opportunities as your schedule allows, but keep some free time. You’ll need some breaks to keep from chafing.
SAGITTARIUS
A little boost comes your way in the form of an upgrade. Unless you’re Steve Jobs, because he doesn’t “upgrade”, he “re-envisions”.
CAPRICORN
Communication is a two-way street. It’s impossible to listen when you are talking. Well, not as impossible as whistling while chewing, but pretty close.
AQUARIUS
Whether you are at work or at home, power struggles seem to pop up all over. Just an hour ago I had a fight with my coffee vendor when he refused to make my coffee “light”, so I pushed his cart into the middle of Lexington Ave.
PISCES
Now is a great time to try a cuisine you’ve never experienced or revisit that one food you think you hate. In honor of this, I will be eating a whole zucchini salad to see if I’m really allergic.