Dear Owl,
I’m afraid of radiation. What do I do?
Sincerely,
CleanGreen
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Dear CleanGreen,
Your fear of radiation, while probably well intended, is faulted. There is nothing wrong with having a few thousand rems flash through your body. Some say, “Oh, but I live in Japan! I was one of the plant crew that stayed around while the core melted our skin off!” To those critics, I say, “Well you’re still alive. Surely radiation must have helped with that!”
Yes, I am on the Ann Coulter bandwagon, and not because she’s a cute blonde whose voice makes me want to shove a sock in her mouth. I agree with her clearly factual insight that radiation is good for you, because not only does it make perfect sense, but there is plenty of evidence pointing to how being irradiated is so amazing that we should all buy brushes with plutonium handles.
Here are some examples:
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1) Binky from The Simpsons
Should I go on?
3) Mickey Rourke
- Mild mannered Mickey Rourke…
Radiation saved Mickey Rourke’s career. Before, he was just an olf version of Freddy Prinz Jr., which led to nothing more than bit parts in any credibly movie. After being irradiated by a gamma bomb(see above for Hulk), he became perfect for his breakout role as Marv in Sin City, leading to fame fortune, and Oscars.
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I could go on, but I think the facts speak for themselves. Ann Coulter knows exactly what she’s talking about.
Do not fear the wave of radiation.
Hugs & Kisses,
-The Owl