2011 Looks Bleak Due to Boring Glasses and Bad Rhyme Schemes
New York, NY: The end of 2010 is upon us, but yearly critics say 2011 won't begin much better. The cause: horribly designed novelty glasses and a rhyme scheme that…
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Week 17
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. This…
Carl Pavano Injures Wrist Signing Contract with Yankees
Bronx, NY: The free agent market in Major League Baseball was thrown a curveball yesterday, as starting pitcher Carl Pavano was set to ink a 7 year, $115 million contract…
Rex Ryan, Wife, Afflicted with New [Pe]Disease
New York, NY: In a strange twist in what is already a strange set of circumstances, N. Y. Jets coach Rex Ryan insists that he and his wife do not…
Sarah Palin Guns Down Santa’s Sleigh, Ruins Christmas
Wasilla, AK: Christmas may need to be postponed this year, as reports from the North Pole are claiming that Santa Claus' sleigh was allegedly shot down early this morning by…
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Week 16
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. We're…
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 12-20-2010
Moonbeam Crenshaw ignores the Winter Solstice eclipse to give his horrible horoscopes, Bella, Edward, and Jacob-free.
FCC to Free Internets, Interwebs, and Everything Else
Washington, DC: The safety of internets everywhere is set to be decided today, as the Federal Communications Commission of the United States will be voting on the latest bill regarding…
Big Balding Idiot Calls Ballerina on Weight
Just in time for the holiday season, when everyone on the globe bulks up in order to make "dieting" their New Year's resolution, another high-profile weight scandal has come to…
NFL Powder Puff Picks: Week 15
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. After…