ARIES
If you feel a growing sense of responsibility toward someone, tell them about it.
Unless the growing sense is in your pants. Then, telling them may create an awkward situation.
TAURUS
Plug some of the leaks in your pocketbook now. It may seem like loose change to you, but when you save it up and dump it in one of those change-counting machines, it can really add up. In fact, I just bought my ’85 Honda Civic with change!
GEMINI
Everyone is looking to you for the answers now. This can probably be traced back to kindergarten, when you cheated on your macaroni art homework by cooking the noodles first and adding glitter to the pot. That cheating created a cycle of cheating, and now people are looking at you to disarm a defense system ready to destroy the world with nuclear winter because you cheated on your last applied physics exam.
And you said no one ever gets hurt by cheating.
CANCER
You are feeling torn apart, but not in a terrible way. It’s more a conflict of inner interests, and not as if Pinhead from the Hellraiser series is going rip you apart with hooks.
Be thankful for the little things.
LEO
Your high levels of self-respect should help you get through today’s weirdness, though you may have to go it alone for a while. Especially if you constantly rip ass in close quarters such as elevators, automobiles, planes, and beds.
VIRGO
You can’t hit a home run every time you’re at bat. Just try to do your best. Unless you’re David Ortiz, Ryan Howard, or Alex Rodriguez. Then you better be knocking some home runs, or you’re useless.
LIBRA
Your past is showing up in the present again, causing all sorts of minor problems. The easiest way to rectify this is to go back….back, to the future!
(Oh, was that last week?)
SCORPIO
You can keep silent even when everyone around you is freaking out. This could be a sign of a clear head, or total obliviousness to your surroundings.
SAGITTARIUS
You may be a bit too focused on money today. To combat it, send it to me.
CAPRICORN
You want your efforts to be recognized,and today, all your work should pay off in a big way, as the FBI will be knocking on your door about all those fake mail-bombing attempts. Congratulations.
AQUARIUS
Discipline is key today — if you don’t force yourself to focus, you are sure to run in circles until you drop from exhaustion. There must be a weight-training or cardio method to combat this…
PISCES
Your energy is all about action. If you see something you want to do, just do it! Unless she says no.