It is official: Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino, who rose to prominence as a cast member on MTV’s ‘The Jersey Shore”, has been voted as the least talented and most annoying celebrity in a recent poll conducted by researchers at the Carnegie Insitutute. Nearly ten thousand randomly chosen people, whose ages ranged from 12-91, were selected for the poll and came to the overwhelming conclusion (97% to be exact) that The Situation’s fame is absurd.
“Seriously, how is this guy even on the radar?” asked doe-eyed George Clooney. “It just goes to show you that any idiot can be famous. Have you heard him talk? I don’t think his vocabulary contains more than a hundred words. I feel bad for the poor bastard.”
“George is right,” agreed Paris Hilton, who was formerly at the top of the list of least talented celebrities. “The Situation makes me look good.”
The Situation was displeased when made aware of the poll results and the opinions of Clooney and Hilton. He proceeded to rip his shirt from his 5’9 inch frame and flexed his muscles.
“Whatever! I’m awesome!” he screamed, as he flexed for reporters. “Guess who’s not getting tickets to the gun show. Clooney and Hilton, that’s who!”
“I think the guy is good for the business,” said Pauly Shore, D-List celebrity and star of 1996’s Bio Dome. “It just proves two things. One, any moron can be famous. And two, there is no God. If God existed, this idiot would still be standing on some heroin needle-strewn beach in New Jersey somewhere, flexing his muscles for the teenage girls who can’t afford a weekend trip into the city.”