Internetland: Britney Spears’ musings were once the most followed on Twitter. With an estimated 5,674,443 
followers, Spears was, until recently, the unabashed queen of useless internet ramblings. That appears to have changed over the weekend, however.
Lady Gaga, formerly known as Steve Johnson, has dethroned Ms. Spears in a hard-fought battle to acquire the attention of millions of people with nothing better to do than read the inane thoughts and actions of celebrities (in 140 characters or less). The shift in power occurred on Saturday, August 21, and Lady Gaga could not be happier. She even went so far as to call her followers “little monsters” and thanked them for beginning “my reign as Twitter queen.”
“Doesn’t she mean ‘drag queen?’” asked Patrick Levy, host of ‘Fuck You, Gaga’, a cable access show based out of Ann Arbor, Michigan. “I cannot believe more than five million jerkoffs are that interested in him. Who gives a shit about Gaga tucking his penis between his legs before every show?”
Apparently someone does: Rosie O’Donnell, former talk show host and current lesbian. “Gaga is the most fascinating person in the world. I’d love to have her on my show. When I get another show. Which should happen any day now. I’m just waiting for the phone to ring. Hint, Hint.”
“Hint all you want, O’Donnell. Nobody is going to hire your fascist ass,” uttered David Westin, President of ABC.
Lady Gaga, when informed of this exchange, twittered this in defense of O’Donnell:
“I would luv 2 b on you’re show, rozy. ABC is dum. Luv Steve.”
5.7 million fans agreed.