Cocoa, FL: The National Aeronautics and Space Administration(NASA) is under investigation by the Better Business Bureau(BBB) in a retail war of some of the longest acronym titles in history. The hot-button topic is the sale of used space shuttles.
The situation began when NASA priced three space shuttles at Kennedy Space Center, Atlantis, Discovery,
and Endeavour, at $42 million apiece, a considerable sum considering the water damage they had sustained in their “landings” as NASA had listed them on Craigslist©.
“It was a flawed business tactic to try to sell these shuttles for so much,” explained Edward Roland Esq., a lawyer in Palm Beach, Florida. “The shuttles don’t work, even when you get some rocket fuel into them. It was just a big scam.”
One potential buyer, Bryan Aldrich, was appalled at the condition of the shuttles. “They were pretty banged up, and the electricals were shot. I couldn’t even get one console light to work,” Mr. Aldrich explained. Then I was told I had to come pick the thing up. Do you know how hard it is to get a license to drive a space shuttle? It’s impossible. The Department of Motor Vehicles has yet to even return my calls.”
Upon arriving to the Kennedy Space Center for the inspection of the shuttles, Mr. Aldrich promptly cited Lemon Laws, usually restricted to the sale of automobiles, and hired Roland to take the case. NASA quickly refunded Mr. Aldrich’s deposit check, and decided to lower the asking price to $28.8 million.
“The economy just isn’t what it once was,” explained PR representative Brittany Colleo. “We used to be able to download these things without a problem. Michael Jackson, Mel Gibson, they couldn’t wait to park a space shuttle in their backyards, just for the novelty. Nowadays, people want everything in working order.”