Washington, DC–Faced with a burgeoning budget deficit, today the Obama administration unveiled a plan to help cut down government spending: a one-hour work week. The plan is a federal mandate, but would affect state and local government offices as well.
David Welkenbelken, assistant co-undersecretary for the Department of Labor, outlined the plan for the media. “Basically, we are going to ensure that you 
receive the same quality services from the government that you’ve grown used to, without the clutter and redundancy of our bloated bureaucracy,” Welkenbelken stated. “We have to be careful to make sure we can maintain this well-oiled machine for the next generation to enjoy. Whether it’s getting your mail in a timely fashion, getting quickly through the line at the DMV, or getting a response to your house being on fire, we’ll all still enjoy the same speedy service to which we’ve become accustomed.”
Under the new plan, each office or department will remain open for forty hours per week. During that week, only one employee may be in the office at a given time; each employee will be solely responsible for that agency for the one hour they are required to be at work. Offices with less than forty employees will be permitted to hire new employees in order to ensure coverage, while those with over forty employees will have to make staffing reductions in order to reach the appropriate level. Certain agencies which require around-the-clock staffing, such as emergency response, military, and tourism, will be allowed 120 staffers to cover all three shifts.
The plan is not without its detractors, however. Some members of Congress are incensed by the proposal. Wendy Humperdink, the junior Senator from Wisconsin, said, “The new plan is simply ridiculous. Having Congress be in session for 52 hours a year is completely infeasible. That’s nearly four times our current time spent in session! How will the legislators of America find time to do their most important job: fighting for re-election? Will we still receive the spring recess? Easter break? Memorial Week? Summer recess? End-of-summer recess? Thanksgiving-through-Christmas weekend?”
On the other hand, former Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush have given the plan a big thumbs-up. Clinton stated, “I wish I had thought of it; it would have given me time for other… err, pursuits.” President Bush said, “Wait, you mean that wasn’t how it was already? I’ve made a huge mista–err, it’s a great idea. Novel approach. Unprecemedented.”
In order to ease the transition, the White House will wait until April 14th to make the switch, anticipating that there will be virtually no need for governmental assistance in the middle of April. Overall, the move is expected to save over $5 billion this year, which the Obama administration has already earmarked for a government program which will help underemployed part-time workers gain full-time employment.