New York, NY: The audience of the American Theatre Tony Awards were shocked this weekend, as a balding biker gentleman in a bandana took the stage to perform hair metal. It is unknown if the act was for irony or just to “pay homage to the age of party rockin” as the elderly man in a “Poison” T-shirt stated to the crowd before his band’s set. It seems Broadway’s elite society and metalheads may be at odds to this end.
As it turns out, this cartoonish washed-up rock star was none other than Bret Michaels, former frontman for the 80s hair band Poison. You may remember 
this band as a group of meticulously groomed ladies and their coke-snorking pimp who wrote songs such as “Talk Dirty to Me,” “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” and “Unskinny Bop”.
After riding the tsunami wave of rock legend, the band dispersed. Bret Michaels, however, would not give up and began a failing solo project.
Luckily, the world began to look back on that 80s era with a sort of goofy nostalgia, prompting VH1 executives to offer Michaels a dating show, The Rock of Love, where Michaels would woo strippers and ancient groupies to the dream of possibly being proposed to by Michaels. This, apparently, is how Bret Michaels came to be on-stage, crooning to Broadway juggernauts and fans alike at Radio City Music Hall.
Even more surprising was the assassination attempt on Michaels as he was on-stage to perform the musical composition, “Nothin But A Good Time.” During the performance, the 46 year old Michaels was smashed in the face by a moving set-piece onstage. Representatives have been quick to associate the calamity as an “accident,” however eyewitnesses at the scene seem to make one speculate otherwise.
Stage manager Henry Mortimer explained: “Although everything on set is automatic, a button must be pressed in order to begin the change proceedings. I am the one who usually pushes that button, and I was too mesmerized by Bret Michaels’ make-up job to push the set button at the appointed time.”
Another backstage rep, who asked to remain anonymous, stated that he saw a tall, lanky man with sparse facial hair and long, red, braided hair running away from the control console. The source claims the man yelled, “Welcome to the jungle, b*tch!”
Bret Michaels himself remembers the accident a little differently. “As I drunkenly stum.., I mean, casually walked off the stage and was hit by the set piece, I could swear I saw Jes(Rickleff), Ambre(Lake), and Taya(Parker) from The Rock of Love leaving the scene. One of them is always trying to kill me. I don’t know why. I never told any of them I’d marry them.”
Neil Patrick Harris had no comment.