Los Angeles, CA: The 2009 MTV Movie Awards ceremony was a topic of drama and controversy once again, besides the uproar from the crowd about Jason Segal not winning the “WTF Moment” Award for his work in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Anxieties were heightened when Bruno, the gay Austrian fashion designer played by Sacha Baron Cohen, swan-dived into Eminem’s lap wearing a feathery, winged ensemble with his ass-cheeks all but fully exposed. 
The act ended with Bruno’s buttocks firmly in Eminem’s face, and Bruno’s face in Eminem’s lap.
“I enjoyed Bruno’s precision landing,” stated comedic personality Ben Stiller later on when asked about the incident. When asked if he wished Bruno had landed in his lap instead, Stiller would not comment.
Marshall Mathers became perturbed at the incident, and stormed out of the building after his bodyguards removed Bruno from Mathers’ crotch. Bruno was in tears and literally spinning because of the blatant rejection. “I could not believe Marshall ran out on me like that. I was only trying to fire up the passion we had together when he kicked me out of the casting call for his delightful music video, ‘We Made You.’ I didn’t get the part, but we had some good spanking times there,” claimed Bruno.
This music video occurrence happened recently for that single, which is on Eminem’s latest album, Relapse. Marshall Mathers was casting the role of a sexy debutante in lingerie, that was to be in bed with him while he rapped for some scenes. Bruno crashed the casting by disguising himself with fake breasts and a wig.
“I wasn’t sure if Marshall would be comfortable with me right away unless I dressed as a woman, so I found this beautiful little Victoria’s Secret outfit that just screams ‘Sheizgroben!’ I really thought I had the part,” stated Bruno. When Bruno’s turn came, he lasted a mere 5 seconds of film before Mathers realized that a dude was in bed with him. “Yah, that was a nish nish on his part, but you can’t blame me for trying!” Bruno explained.
It seems that Bruno was confused about Marshall Mathers’ sexual orientation, due to Mathers’ friendship with openly gay pop sensation Sir Elton John, whom Mathers had collaborated on the song “Stan” with at the Grammy Awards in 2001. With that bond, and Mathers’ radical lyrics having to do with homosexuality, Bruno had thought he had found a mate, of sorts.
“Can you just imagine being in bed with a man like that? It would be like an Austrian Sacher-Masoch Rubber Party all over again! Oh, I’m all gustheimen,” explained Bruno.
When Eminem was reached for comment, all he could say was, “F*ck that sh*t, I ain’t gay.” It is believed that Eminem will soon release a track venting his frustration at Bruno, which will be met by a responding track by Sacha Barton Cohen’s hip hop personality, Ali G.
-special thanks to Leesa W. for inspiration