New York, NY: The clash of the media titans had officially begun last week, as two opinionated political baiters began a humorous(to almost everyone else) silent debate on the use of waterboarding as a practice for interrogation.
Notable conservative mouth-runner Sean Hannity, after deciding on-air that waterboarding “is as much torture as when Rush Limbaugh served me tossed salad after a bowel movement,” continued to make himself look even more idiotic by stating that he would let himself be waterboarded for charity.
Noted MSNBC liberal who broke from sportscaster to political correspondent, Keith Olbermann, quickly answered Sean Hannity’s plea by promising $1,000.00 to Hannity’s charity of choice for every second Hannity allowed the waterboarding to continue. Olbermann promised a bonus of doubling the donation if Sean Hannity proclaimed that, at the end of it all, waterboarding was torture.
Until now, there was a silence from the Hannity camp on the subject only heard on the many occasions that the opinionist had to stick his foot down his esophagus and into his stomach. However, Sean Hannity has finally answered Olbermann’s terms, with his own addendum.
“Fine, I’ll allow myself to be waterboarded. But that liberal pansy has to do it himself,” stated Sean Hannity about Olbermann.
The art of waterboarding is as follows: the victim is immobilized on his or her back with the head inclined downwards, and then water is poured over the face and into the breathing passages. By forced suffocation and inhalation of water, the subject experiences drowning to the extent that the feel they may die. This activity is rarely even used in S&M practice, but in recent military interrogations in the United States, it had once been a prominent source of confessions, truthful or not.
Currently, Keith Olbermann has not answered Hannity’s stipulation, however, as this photo suggests, Mr. Olbermann has been practicing on the method with such celebrities as Al Franken, Jimmy Fallon, and Bill O’Reilly. It is unknown which, if any, of these test subjects are willingly being demonstrated upon, although it has been said that Jimmy Fallon has agreed that late night is where comedians go to die, and O’Reilly has confessed to hiding Weapons of Mass Destruction in his basement crawl-space.