Washington, DC: Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is lashing out at the press for what she perceives to be preferential treatment in regards to Caroline Kennedy’s bid for the soon-to-be empty New York State Senate seat. According to Palin, Kennedy is receiving copious amounts of respect from the press corps while, she, Palin, was battered relentlessly by the same press corps while acting as John McCain’s running mate on the Republican presidential ticket.
“I’ve been interested to see how Caroline Kennedy will be handled and if she will be handled with kid gloves or if she will be under such a microscope,” Palin told conservative radio talk-show host and filmmaker John Ziegler.
“It’s going to be interesting to see how that plays out and I think that as we watch that we will perhaps be able to prove that there is a class issue here also that was such a factor in the scrutiny of my candidacy versus, say, the scrutiny of what her candidacy may be,” Palin added later.
“There’s a reason for this,” said Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy. “Palin is, and has always been, an idiot. Of course she’s not going to get any respect. Have you heard the woman speak? I’ve met five-year-olds who are more intelligent than her. Those poor bastards in Alaska know what I’m talking about. Just ask them.”
“She is not an idiot,” countered her husband, Todd Palin. “She’s the smartest woman I’ve ever met. Hell, last month she read two Patricia Cornwell books. Show me an idiot who can read two Patricia Cornwell books in one month and I’ll show you a moose who can ride a skateboard.”
“He’s an idiot, too,” said Joseph Wilkerson, a Nome, Alaska native, while referring to Todd Palin. “And by the way, I know an Inuit carnival director who has a pet moose than can ride a skateboard. In case this makes print, that’s what you call an Eskimo, Governor.”
When phoned for a comment on the matter, Caroline Kennedy merely laughed and hung up.