Jeff Bridges Eats Oscar
Jeff Bridges will be receiving an honorary Oscar for Best Cumulative Eating at the next Academy Awards ceremony. The Oscar will be presented by friend and fellow glutton, John Goodman.…
Scientist Links Smoking to Lung Cancer
After fifty years of research, scientists at Eastern West Virginia Community and Technical College believe that they have finally discovered a possible side effect to smoking – lung cancer. Though…
Phone Phun
I worked as a long distance operator for three years third shift. They paid you like 12 percent more than normal if you pulled the graveyard shift, and I figured…
Airlines to Charge for More than Just Bags
Three of the six major airlines in the United States plan to boost profits in an effort to offset the nation’s struggling economy. In an unusual move, the airlines, Delta,…
Not An Airplane’s “Everything Is Not Loveable”
Being an unpaid faux-music-reviewer (as in a faux reviewer of music, not a reviewer of faux music), I'm not up on the ridiculously fine-hair-splitting categories kids use these days. Our…
Mark Fuhrman to Auction Off Bloody Gloves
Orenthal James Simpson was recently sentenced to nine years in prison for robbing men in a motel room who were selling football memorabilia of the same "O.J." Simpson. Unfortunately for…
Death & Taxes
In March of 2008, the war in Iraq will begin its sixth year. In that month we will be half way to matching the record, held currently by the war…
Oprah Weighs 200 Pounds: World Shocked
Oprah Winfrey, dubbed the “Queen of all Media,” has shocked the world with her latest revelation in January’s issue of ‘O’ magazine. Winfrey, 54, has struggled with her weight for…
Local Wal-Mart Offers Bonus to Shoppers
In an effort to boost sluggish holiday sales, one local Wal-Mart has devised a scheme to attract shoppers this Saturday. According to the store manager, Earl Wickish, the first five…
Addie the Misunderstood
In the words of the old British Music-Hall classic: "Hitler has only got one ball, The other is in The Albert hall, His Mother, the silly bugger, Cut it off…