London, UK: In an effort to keep aging and newly inspired fans salivating for any new piece of Beatles history, Sir Paul McCartney recently released information about a long lost musical track recorded by The Beatles in 1967, titled Carnival of Light. This statement was issued during an interview McCartney had with the BBC after the MTV Europe Music Awards.
Not much is known about the recording, except that the whole band had dropped acid beforehand. “We had no
bloody idea what we were doing. John began tearing off his clothes and screaming into a microphone while Paul began touching himself and moaning into another microphone. George was just rocking back and forth drooling, and I was slapping walls, floors, facing, anything to make a sound. It was quite liberating, but not something I would call music while keeping a straight face,” stated Ringo Starr.
Paul had another take on the recording. “I said ‘all I want you to do is just wander around all the stuff, bang it, shout, play it, it doesn’t need to make any sense. Hit a drum then wander on to the piano, hit a few notes, just wander around.’ So that’s what we did and then put a bit of an echo on it. It’s very free.”
Both musicians could barely contain themselves after their statements, and began laughing hysterically. “No, really, it was more about the money than anything. I mean, I was voicing Thomas the Tank Engine for christ’s sake. I am beyond shame these days,” explained Ringo.
“Oh, definitely about the money. My latest solo projects tanked and the world economy is in shambles. Then all of a sudden I’m at the American Super Bowl. I figured, ‘Hey, maybe we can sell a few million albums of bollocks,'” Paul clarified.
Even with these blatant statements to the world, Beatles fans are clamoring for the new recording. “I’ve always wanted to hear what those boys did behind closed doors. You know, besides Yoko Ono. Finally, my wish will be fulfilled!” stated an anonymous fan.
Record sales are expected to make the release platinum in about three days time. Meanwhile, Paul has begun searching for other lost Beatles moments. “I’m pretty sure I have a few more recordings boxed up. You know, normal things, like John taking a crap in a toilet and flushing, me watching the telly and burping a few times. There’s even one of George crying himself to sleep at night for a good hour. We recorded it all, so hopefully we can bring them all to you…on separate albums for a modest sales fee.”