New York, NY: In one year’s time, Conan O’Brien will replace Jay Leno as NBC’s poster-middle-aged-comedian for talk show hosts by heading The Tonight Show. However, this has brought about the excruciating job of finding a replacement for Conan. In lieu of the failure rate of new late-late night talk show hosts and hostesses(see Jimmy Kimmel), NBC has begun plans to cancel Late Night altogether.
“The truth is, if people are really staying up that late, they aren’t watching television. Unless it’s after sex,” commented NBC producer Lorne Michaels.
In an effort to slowly ween their audience off of late night viewing, NBC will not abruptly take the talk show out 
of circulation, nor will they play re-runs of past Conan episodes. Instead, NBC will place Saturday Night Live’s Jimmy Fallon into the hosting spot for Late Night to all but force the viewers to turn off the television at will, or fall asleep during one of Fallon’s endless explanations as to why his joke is funny.
“We wanted the television audience to say good-bye to late night television on our terms. We didn’t want them running off to watch Craig Ferguson right away. We wanted to utterly destroy the concept of any sort of television entertainment at 12:30 in the morning. Jimmy Fallon will most assuredly bring this about,” explained NBC president and CEO Jeff Zucker.
The network had once played with the idea of having a female late night talk show hostess take the reigns and run a successful show by promoting Tina Fey, but with the amazing success of 30 Rock, NBC was unable to pull the trigger. Due to the success of everyone but Fallon from the Saturday Night Live cast, time slot suicide seemed to be the only alternative to failure. This way, advertising income that has been classed annually will still ride through the second half of 2009 with Jimmy Fallon hosting.