Tag: zodiac
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-15-2013
It’s been a foggy night, and I can’t tell if the stars are there or have all burst and become black holes. No matter. I’ll wing this week’s horoscopes. It probably won’t make much of difference on my 50-50 shot of being right.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013
The stars are bastards. They build you up only to break you down, then take the kids, the house, and all of your money so you’re left in a boarding house where you share a toilet with a sex offender named Marcus. Oh yeah, we’re talking about astrology. Here are your horoscopes. Suck it. [...]
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-1-2013
The stars are angry, my friends. I can tell because of my telescope, not because I can see them up close. No, I keep the view protector on, so I can’t see a damn thing. No, I feel the stars, like a good astrologist. Here is what I feel about your horoscopes. [...]
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-25-2013
Fortune cookies are played out. Instead, live your life based on what I say. Trust me. I’m an astrologist. I have the on-line diploma to prove it. So, here are this week’s horrible horoscopes!
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-18-2013
Well readers, I’m back. After going to Psychic School for a year (yes, it IS a thing), I have returned to do what I do best: tell you how to live your life, week to week, for the better. Or worse. Whatever I feel like, really. So, here are this week’s horrible horoscopes! [...]
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 1-10-2012
Moonbeam Censhaw returns to explain what the stars say about our futures. Hilarity ensues?
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 12-12-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns as our illiterate reader of the stars!
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-28-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell your future, as far as he knows.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-15-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to misread the stars to prepare you for the week!
Horrible Halloween Horoscopes: Week of 10-31-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns for some Halloween-based Horoscopes. Try to guess the movies to prove you know horror!
