Tag: zodiac

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-31-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-31-2014

| April 1, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-17-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-17-2014

| March 21, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-10-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-10-2014

| March 12, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-3-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-3-2014

| March 5, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-24-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-24-2014

| February 26, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 7-22-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 7-22-2013

| July 22, 2013 | 0 Comments

We’re back! Back to unlocking the mysteries of the stars in order to learn our paths in life. Back to understand how destiny and opportunity intertwine day to day. For those of you that are back for the free bologna skins, here are this week’s horoscopes! Trust me. I have a telescope.       […]

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-15-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-15-2013

| April 20, 2013 | 0 Comments

It’s been a foggy night, and I can’t tell if the stars are there or have all burst and become black holes. No matter. I’ll wing this week’s horoscopes. It probably won’t make much of difference on my 50-50 shot of being right.            

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013

| April 11, 2013 | 0 Comments

The stars are bastards. They build you up only to break you down, then take the kids, the house, and all of your money so you’re left in a boarding house where you share a toilet with a sex offender named Marcus. Oh yeah, we’re talking about astrology. Here are your horoscopes. Suck it.   […]

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-1-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-1-2013

| April 2, 2013 | 0 Comments

The stars are angry, my friends. I can tell because of my telescope, not because I can see them up close. No, I keep the view protector on, so I can’t see a damn thing. No, I feel the stars, like a good astrologist. Here is what I feel about your horoscopes.       […]

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-25-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-25-2013

| March 26, 2013 | 0 Comments

Fortune cookies are played out. Instead, live your life based on what I say. Trust me. I’m an astrologist. I have the on-line diploma to prove it. So, here are this week’s horrible horoscopes!            

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