Category: Politics
President Obama Institutes First State of the Union Brawl
The Station of the Union Address took an odd turn last night, as opposing party members physically assaulted each other rather than verbally.
NJ Traffic Scandal Labeled Military Exercise by Christie Supporters
Gov. Chris Christie’s traffic scandal could be the next step in military strategy.
Basketball Fans Shocked that Dennis Rodman’s Odd Behavior in North Korea Took This Long
During his adventures in North Korea, Dennis Rodman alienates basketball fans…again.
Republicans Celebrate Party’s Triumph Over Science
GOP leaders gathered yesterday to celebrate a successful year for the Republican Party, capped off with an 11% decline in the belief in evolution with their colleagues.
US Government to Destroy Over 1,000 Tons of Elmo Dolls for Environmental Safety
Following the destruction of ivory, the United States takes aim at Elmo dolls.
Volcker Rule Requires Bankers to Pinky-Swear Not to Crash Economy
Washington, DC: Proponents of financial reform are celebrating the revised Volcker Rule, which imposes a strict requirement that the heads of the banking industry promise to never ruin the economy again. This promise will be sealed by a traditional legal contract referred to as pinky jurare. This is when the two parties lock pinkies while […]
War on Christmas Portrays Historical Discrimination Against Rich, White, Christian Men
Look out, minorities. There’s a new socially maligned group in the United States, and they’re not going to take it anymore: rich, white, Christian men.
Volcker Rule Raises Eyes in Banks, Vegas
Las Vegas, NV: With the adoption of the latest Dodd-Frank financial overhaul law, dubbed “the Volcker Rule,” set to be implemented in 2015, banks aren’t the only companies scurrying for shelter.
Lawmakers Pass Landmark Toy Gun Control Law
The Nerf Nerf™ Act, requires those interested in owning a toy gun to pass an extensive background check.
Santorum Compares Mandela’s Fight Against Apartheid to First World US Problems
Rick Santorum recently compared Nelson Mandela to the crusty old white men of Congress in a declaration of honor.
