RSSCategory: Politics

US Government to Destroy Over 1,000 Tons of Elmo Dolls for Environmental Safety

US Government to Destroy Over 1,000 Tons of Elmo Dolls for Environmental Safety

| January 6, 2014 | 0 Comments

Following the destruction of ivory, the United States takes aim at Elmo dolls.

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Volcker Rule Requires Bankers to Pinky-Swear Not to Crash Economy

Volcker Rule Requires Bankers to Pinky-Swear Not to Crash Economy

| December 16, 2013 | 0 Comments

Washington, DC: Proponents of financial reform are celebrating the revised Volcker Rule, which imposes a strict requirement that the heads of the banking industry promise to never ruin the economy again.  This promise will be sealed by a traditional legal contract referred to as pinky jurare.  This is when the two parties lock pinkies while […]

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War on Christmas Portrays Historical Discrimination Against Rich, White, Christian Men

War on Christmas Portrays Historical Discrimination Against Rich, White, Christian Men

| December 16, 2013 | 0 Comments

Look out, minorities. There’s a new socially maligned group in the United States, and they’re not going to take it anymore: rich, white, Christian men.

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Volcker Rule Raises Eyes in Banks, Vegas

Volcker Rule Raises Eyes in Banks, Vegas

| December 13, 2013 | 0 Comments

Las Vegas, NV: With the adoption of the latest Dodd-Frank financial overhaul law, dubbed “the Volcker Rule,” set to be implemented in 2015, banks aren’t the only companies scurrying for shelter.

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Lawmakers Pass Landmark Toy Gun Control Law

Lawmakers Pass Landmark Toy Gun Control Law

| December 12, 2013 | 0 Comments

The Nerf Nerf™ Act, requires those interested in owning a toy gun to pass an extensive background check.

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Santorum Compares Mandela’s Fight Against Apartheid to First World US Problems

Santorum Compares Mandela’s Fight Against Apartheid to First World US Problems

| December 6, 2013 | 0 Comments

Rick Santorum recently compared Nelson Mandela to the crusty old white men of Congress in a declaration of honor.

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Tea Party Congressman Trey Radel Becomes Bored with Tea, Opts for Cocaine

Tea Party Congressman Trey Radel Becomes Bored with Tea, Opts for Cocaine

| November 20, 2013 | 0 Comments

The Tea Party contemplates a name change after congressmember Trey Radel’s recent charge of cocaine possession.

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Chris Farley Found Alive and Well in Toronto

Chris Farley Found Alive and Well in Toronto

| November 18, 2013 | 0 Comments

It seems that Chris Farley is alive, and has been secretly running Toronto as his alter-ego, Rob Ford.

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Vote to Extend Breaking Bad Goes Unheeded

Vote to Extend Breaking Bad Goes Unheeded

| November 6, 2013 | 0 Comments

The American public became just a bit more jaded by politics yesterday, as the most coordinated write-in vote in the history of US elections was left ignored.

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Congress Celebrates Survival of Election Day 2013

Congress Celebrates Survival of Election Day 2013

| November 6, 2013 | 0 Comments

Election Day 2013 went off with minor casualties yesterday, as all current members of the United States House of Representatives and the Senate were victorious in protecting their places in government legislation.

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