In an announcement drowned out by gunfire and screams from rabid shoppers, we learn that Black Week is the extension of the savings so popular with consumers.
Blockbuster, the home movie rental company that had introduced the American family to such historical relics as “VHS tapes” and “DVDs,” surprised consumers by alerting them to the fact that, yes, Blockbuster is still in business before closing stores.
Johnson & Johnson has announced its decision to suspend its effort to market antipsychotics to children.
To have Snowden performing analyses and maintenance on the site could allow the release of fake reports and foreign policy that would make Russia feared once again, by more than just gay Olympic athletes.
Scientists were proud to exclaim that they haven’t found jack shit in evidence of dark matter using the LUX.
In the wake of a $19 million dollar cut to mental health services, Kansas has begun courting corporate sponsors to pick up the rest of the bill.
The most logical way to abandon the national family dinner altogether on Thanksgiving would be for stores to serve turkey dinner at their entrances.
In an effort to showcase the most useless ideas in robotics, Boston Dynamics unveiled Atlas and WildCat.
Good news, everyone! Although the government has shut down, our valiant employees at the IRS will continue to collect your hard-earned money and audit your businesses.