Phoenix, AZ: The Our Lady of Tears baseball team forfeited a championship game against Arizona…
Author Meg Anne
United States: First, it was the Tanorexics—women in their teens, 20s and 30s with such a fondness for tan skin that they risk their lives just to resemble old, leathery shoes. But now, as skin cancer rates are on the rise and cosmetic companies everywhere are advertising “anti-aging” products, another extremist group has joined in. Meet the Sunphobics.
Toronto, ON CANADA: Leprechauns, unicorns, fairies, and woodland nymphs are in an uproar over a Catholic school’s recent decision to ban rainbows from its premises. The problem started when the Saint Joe’s Catholic School in Ontario found themselves in the middle of a dilemma. Recently, an unofficial gay-straight alliance group formed at the school. The gay-straight alliance group was “unofficial” because the school (along with many other Catholic schools) bans any group that works towards overcoming differences and inequality. However, in an attempt to appease the students and appear somewhat open-minded, St. Joe’s did agree to allow the students to host an anti-homophobia event—with certain restrictions.
Bob Bordus of the Straight Marriage for Maryland group has finally added a new argument in the anti-gay marriage arsenal. “Gay marriage is the gateway marriage. Just like marijuana is the gateway drug,” said Bordus during a testimony he gave before the Maryland legislature. “If gay marriage is made legal, it won’t be long before all sorts of marriages are made legal. People will be trying to marry robots!”
A new study published in the Archives of Dermatology has found the deadly disease tanorexia to be hereditary.
Massapequa Park, NY: Christmas Day is one of the busiest for Catholic Churches around the world. It is the one day a year when many Catholics suddenly remember that they’re Catholic and decide to stumble into the nearest church and say a few Hail Marys. However, if you happened to stumble into Our Lady of Lourdes in Long Island on Christmas Day, you might have gotten a little more than some choir music and a dose of Catholic guilt.
Raleigh, NC—If you resolved to lose fifty pounds this year or to limit your habit to one pack a day, you might want to hurry up. Or just give up altogether. It turns out that this year will be a short one since the Apocalypse is due to start in May.
Orlando, FL: Each year, millions of families travel to sunny Orlando, the theme park capital of the Eastern U.S. It’s the home of Disney World and Universal Studios—two parks renowned for fun, family vacations. However, some parents don’t come to Orlando so their children can have tea in Cinderella’s castle, get sick on the Tea Cups, or pee their pants on Jaws the Ride. Instead, they come for a more wholesome family vacation.
Few people are probably aware that the Salvation Army has strict guidelines when it comes to what types of toys it will give to needy children. For instance, as the Salvation Army sifted through its mountains of toys this year, it threw out anything related to Harry Potter and Twilight.
Hollywood, CA: And yet another season of Dancing With the Stars has come to a glittery close, crowning Jennifer Grey as the ballroom champ. Not surprisingly, the former dirty dancer beat out actor/singer Kyle Massey, as well as Bristol Palin, the infamous daughter of VP-candidate-turned-ex-Alaskan-governor-turned-Tea-Party-Mad-Hatter-turned-reality-TV-star Sarah Palin.