Our asinine political analysis breaks down Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush.
*UPDATE: Jeb Bush has suspended his presidential campaign, while his supporters awkwardly clapped at the wrong moment.*
Name: Jeb Bush
Nickname: Another Bush!
Political Affiliation: Republican Party
Known For: Governor of Florida 1999 – 2007, Accidental Ricky Gervais Impersonations
Likes: Guns, Swampland, His Mother, Being Your First, Hugs, Social Media
Dislikes: Taxes, His Brother, Not Being Taken Seriously, His Social Media Manager
Public Outlook: The greatest problem Jeb Bush has to overcome is the smell that his brother left in the Oval Office that still hasn’t been scrubbed out. His policies seem to be centrist on many issues, which is suffocated by the incoherent yelling that seems to come from Trump and Cruz. His public image, even by his own social media displays, seems more awkwardly humorous, something America had enough of when GWB was in charge.
Pros: Political satire could have a resurgence that hasn’t been seen since… the last Bush was in office.
Cons: Does America really want their cable guide to label the State of the Union Address as a comedy?
Quote: “Please clap.”