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Asinine Election Analysis 2016: Mike Huckabee

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Our asinine political analysis breaks down Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

*UPDATE: Mike Huckabee has suspended his presidential campaign, leading many to believe this is a new version of the Christian Revival traveling ministry.*

mike-huckabee-profile

Name: Mike Huckabee

Nickname: The Huckster

Political Affiliation: Republican Party

Status: Suspended Campaign

Known For: Governor of Arkansas 1996 – 2007, Southern Baptist Ministry, Professional Presidential Candidate

Likes: Running for President, Jesus, Thomas the Uber Driver, Embryos

Dislikes: Taxes, Health Care that Doesn’t Involve Jesus, Corporate Financial Backing, Gay Marriage

Public Outlook: After losing steam in the 2008 election, Mike Huckabee seems to come out of retirement from politics in order to raise money for his livelihood by campaigning for president or, as in 2012, leading people to believe he is running for president. A Huckabee campaign is much like a traveling Christian Revival show: a lot of words and feeling, but you’re left with an empty wallet and the same old life when he leaves.

Pros: Surely Huckabee has learned something from his behind-the-scenes work with televangelists. It’s about time other nations started giving the United States aid, and Huckabee could be the man to do it.

Cons: Imagine if the ghost of Jerry Falwell inhabited Rush Limbaugh…

Quote: “When we were in college we used to take a popcorn popper — because that was the only thing they would let us have in the dorms — and fry squirrels in the popcorn popper.”

Check out all of the 2016 presidential candidates by clicking here.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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