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Asinine Election Analysis 2016: Martin O’Malley

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Our asinine political analysis breaks down Democratic presidential candidate Martin O’Malley.

*UPDATE: Martin O’Malley has suspended his presidential campaign, possibly in order to tour with Dave Matthews.*

martin-omalley-profile

Name: Martin O’Malley

Nickname: Martin Allman

Political Affiliation: Democratic Party

Status: Suspended Campaign

Known For: Mayor of Baltimore 1999 – 2007, Governor of Maryland 2007 – 2015, Character on HBO’s The Wire 2004 – 2008

Likes: Civil Rights, Energy Reform, Street-Performing, Taxes

Dislikes: References to HBO’s The Wire, Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deals, Military Aggression

Public Outlook: Martin O’Malley seemed to be everything that Aiden Gillen portrayed as Tommy Carcetti in The Wire: young; ambitious; clean; able to break through color barriers while being one of the whitest guys on the planet. O’Malley could continue President Obama’s approach to the issues.

Pros: Bill Clinton played a mean sax in the Oval Office. It’s about time we get a guitarist.

Cons: Besides the problematic life of a musician having sex offered to them wherever they go, O’Malley is believed to be the boring, male status quo of the Democratic Party to Hillary Clinton’s “A Woman In The Oval Office!” gravy train. At least, forgoing the fact that O’Malley has been leaned on a little less by the financial district.

Quote: “You’re holding me to a high standard! I mean, Moses – Jesus, Reverend…”

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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