Our asinine political analysis breaks down Democratic presidential candidate Martin O’Malley.
*UPDATE: Martin O’Malley has suspended his presidential campaign, possibly in order to tour with Dave Matthews.*
Name: Martin O’Malley
Nickname: Martin Allman
Political Affiliation: Democratic Party
Status: Suspended Campaign
Known For: Mayor of Baltimore 1999 – 2007, Governor of Maryland 2007 – 2015, Character on HBO’s The Wire 2004 – 2008
Likes: Civil Rights, Energy Reform, Street-Performing, Taxes
Dislikes: References to HBO’s The Wire, Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deals, Military Aggression
Public Outlook: Martin O’Malley seemed to be everything that Aiden Gillen portrayed as Tommy Carcetti in The Wire: young; ambitious; clean; able to break through color barriers while being one of the whitest guys on the planet. O’Malley could continue President Obama’s approach to the issues.
Pros: Bill Clinton played a mean sax in the Oval Office. It’s about time we get a guitarist.
Cons: Besides the problematic life of a musician having sex offered to them wherever they go, O’Malley is believed to be the boring, male status quo of the Democratic Party to Hillary Clinton’s “A Woman In The Oval Office!” gravy train. At least, forgoing the fact that O’Malley has been leaned on a little less by the financial district.
Quote: “You’re holding me to a high standard! I mean, Moses – Jesus, Reverend…”