donald_sterling
Photo: CNN

Los Angeles, CA— Donald Sterling is returning to the spotlight to apologize once again. Today Sterling called for a press conference outside of his home to address statements he made during his interview with Anderson Cooper, where he was set to apologize for his initial remarks.

While speaking to Cooper, Sterling insisted that his friend/girlfriend/some-girl-he-talked-to-and-imagined-was-his-girlfriend V. Stiviano baited him into making the racist statements. Sterling also insinuated that the African-American community “does not want to help people” and particularly that former NBA superstar Magic Johnson does not do enough to give back to his community. Sterling insisted that he is not a racist, that the NBA and his team support him, and that it is only the media that is against him. Sterling also accused Cooper of being more racist than he is.

“It is with great sadness and shame that I stand here today to once again ask for your forgiveness. I am not a racist and I don’t understand how that happened again,” said Sterling in his opening statement. Sterling went on to say that he “definitely hangs out” with the LA Clippers team “all the time” and that they “tell [him] how not racist and cool [he is].” Sterling then passed around an autographed headshot of team member Blake Griffin, which Sterling insisted was authentic, that was signed, “Donald – You are such a cool guy who everyone wants to hang out with and definitely isn’t racist – Blake.”

Sterling then agreed to take questions from the crowd of reporters, interrupting several times to make statements such as, “Can you tell how much I love the blacks? I’m super into hip-hop,” which then led to Sterling reciting and gravely mispronouncing the names of several current hip-hop stars, “…Whiz Cauliflower, Jason D’rano, Bob…” Reporters noted that Sterling squinted at his left hand before saying each name.

When questioned about the rumored 100 other tapes that V. Stiviano allegedly has of Sterling making more racist remarks, Sterling insisted that she had baited him into each remark. “She’s very good with her leading questions, and I was just blinded by my affection for her,” Sterling said. “She would feed me incredibly leading lines like, ‘Do you think black people should be allowed to live in the apartments you rent out,’ and ‘I would like to bring my black friends to LA Clippers games.’ I was completely foolish to fall for that.”

Asked why he felt the need to specify race to miss Stiviano during a private conversation, Sterling stated, “This is just the media trying to blow the whole thing out of proportion. What was I supposed to say? She told me they were black, why would I not repeat their demographic to her verbatim during a conversation I thought was private? It’s completely necessary, just so we all know who we’re talking about here.”

By Patrick Braud

Patrick is a comedy writer living in Chicago. He enjoys writing articles that hopefully make people chuckle and think, "Hey, that was pretty alright." He does that here and he also does it over at Man Cave Daily. If you thought something he wrote was pretty alright, boy howdy he sure does appreciate it.