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World Bored by Another Woody Allen Scandal

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New York, NY: In the latest development of Woody Allen’s life as a dirty old man, adopted daughter Dylan Farrow has implicated the actor/comedian/director in another round of sexual abuse allegations, which have become as obvious as his later films.

While Allen and former partner Mia Farrow’s only biological child Ronan Farrow has needled his father about his past since 2012, particularly at this year’s Golden Globes, the direct allegations only came out, again, in an open letter to Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times.

The news seemed to be passing much more quickly than other celebrity scandals. This is due to the fact that Woody Allen had already taken celebrity scandal as far as it could go. Woody Allen had been caught with nude photographs of his semi-step-daughter Soon-Yi Previn in 1992. After the break-up with Mia Farrow, Allen continued to put all other dirty old men to shame by continuing his relationship with Soon-Yi and eventually married her in 1997.

“Seriously, these repeated allegations by Dylan are old news,” stated amateur comedian Buck Kansas. “I’m pretty sure Mad TV and Saturday Night Live squeezed every bit of mockery out of the Soon-Yi debacle. What could possibly be left?”

It is unknown if Ronan Farrow will be hosting a Crossfire-like debate with Dylan/Malone and Woody on his new show on MSNBC.

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