Washington DC: The Tea Party, a political movement in the Republican sector that gained traction in the 2010 elections in the United States, has quietly diminished since then due to media coverage depicting candidates and supporters as ultra conservative, radical, and just plain “crazy.”

Now the movement is once again gaining attention as politicians have restructured their policies to be more in line with libertarian principles as congressmember Trey Radel of Florida was recently charged with cocaine possession, a misdemeanor in Washington DC.

“The Tea Party has been labeled as a political affiliation to old, decrepit ideals stemming from its name’s inspiration, the Boston Tea Party of 1773, which is one of the reasons it has been so vocally opposed by detractors,” explained political pundit Paul Emmerlan. “With Trey Radel now being linked to cocaine, the Tea Party may finally regain support because, seriously, cocaine is a much stronger stimulant than tea. You want a radical political group getting things done with a namesake affiliated with the British? Go get yourself some boring old tea. You want a radical political group that will take this country by storm? Start laying out lines of that Colombian nose candy.”

It is unknown if the Tea Party will indeed change their movement’s name to the Cocaine Party, as such an affiliation may lead to the alienation of international political figures like Toronto mayor Rob Ford, who prefer crack.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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